he.. i anledning af Richard Dean Andersons hæder fandt jeg lige denne på nettet som jeg vil dele med jer andre...
Ting du aldrig vil høre blive sagt i Stargate SG-1:
Jack: Gotta love the Goa’uld! I’d be so bored without them.
Teal’c: Let’s get jiggy with it. *starts rap dancing*
Sam: So it’s the sincline of phi, times the inverse of-gah, I can’t do it, I can’t solve the equation, I HATE MATH!!!
Daniel: Old things are just so boring. I wanna study fashion!
Hammond: *over the intercom* Attention all base personnel, this is general Hammond. For the rest of the day, I am suspending the regs relating to fraternizing between officers. Enjoy yourselves.
Teal’c: I do not enjoy this Star Wars.
Janet: Who’s got a little boo-boo? You do, yes you do, you certainly do. A little boo-boo on your cute little tush-tush.
Apophis: Jaffa, I desire a change in decoration. *puts on a feather boa* Paint my chambers bright neon pink, bring in some exotic dancers, and order twenty barrels of Cronus’ best wine. It’s party time!
Daniel: Ah to Hell with it Jack, let’s just shoot ‘em and be done with it.
Jack: *gasps* I remember what happened to my memos!
Thor: Whoopee, we gets to blows up the Goa’uld, funfunfun, YAY!
Sam: Jack, I’m pregnant. Jack: *screams in terror, then jumps out a window*
Jack: Checkmate. Sam: What? No, no it can’t be true. AAAHHH! *throws herself out a window*
Jack: *to Hammond* Hey there Shiny! Hammond: What’s up Jackass?
Teal’c: O’Neill, my eyebrows…I cannot raise them!
Martouf: Y’know, I never really liked you Sam. Sam: Waaaaahhh.
Oma: *talking like Yoda* Looking for Ancients? Found Ancients I think you have, yes? Hmm, hrrmm?
Daniel: Screw the Tok’ra and our alien allies. Jack: Okay, I’ll go find Anise, you can have Thor.
Sam: Y’know, I really need to get laid. *looks at Jack* Jack: Sweet!
Hammond: *rubbing his head self-consciously, then putting on a wig* Much better.
Jack: Actually I think Steven Hawkings version of the inherent confluence of multiple-universes is fundamentally flawed by the fact that he doesn’t take into account the dissapation of heat through the principle of fundamental entrophy in dymanic temporal systems. Sam: Make love to me you smart ass genius you.
Jack: Okay, okay, I admit it; I didn’t spend my early years in black ops…I was a Chippendales dancer.
Replicator: Oh, terribly sorry about that, good sir. Here let me help you up. I’m #38826b phi gamma epsilon AA23. How can me and my 339 trillion fellow beings help make your stay more comfortable with us today?
Anubis: Ah, my true passion in life: underwear modeling.
Jack: Screw saving the world, I wanna go bowling.
Jack: Damnit, I can’t hold it in anymore. I love you! Sam: Oh Jack, I can’t tell you how much- Jack: Not you, Daniel. Daniel: AAAAHHH!!! *jumps out a window*
Jack: *about to get implanted with a Goa’uld* Yeah sure, pop the little sucker in. Eternal life sounds good to me.
Teal’c: It is called a tu-tu, O’Neill. I am told it accentuates my masculine character. Observe. *starts performing ballet*
Jack: Y’know what, why don’t we just sit down and have a nice long talk about this to help work out our differences, huh, what do you say?
Sam: Sir, it’s just an experiment on how naquadah will react when exposed to a blowtorch. What could go wrong?
Chevron guy: Receiving IDC, sir, it’s the Tok’ra. Should I open the iris? Hammond: Nah leave it closed. We don’t want to talk to them.
Kinsey: Y’know what, I’m really sorry for being such an ass these past for years. How’s a 200% increase in your budget and totally autonomy of the Stargate program sound, O’Neill?
Janet: All right, time for your torture sess…I mean post-mission physical.
Jack: General, I’ve got some big news: Carter and I are getting hitched. Hammond: Cool.
Narim: Okay, we’ve reconsidered and we’ll sell you the blueprints for an ion cannon in exchange for seasons 1-7 of Friends on DVD.
Goa’uld: Jaffa, kree! Random jaffa #1: No, not until we get a dental plan! Random jaffa #2: Damn straight!
Jack: I just don’t get the Simpsons.
Sam: So that concludes my briefing on the primary star of the system P4T-389 is in. Any questions? Jack: *snoring loudly*
Daniel: *breaks a 10,000 year-old tablet over Jacks head* Oh, that was fun. Again!
Sam: *bouncing up and own like a little kid* Jack Jack Jack, can I go play with the Asgard and their cool stuff? Huh? Can I, can I, can I? Jack: …Okay, as long as back here and you’re in bed by 7:00, Sammy.
Jack: The only reason I gave Anubis that eye was because you TOLD me to! Daniel: Haha, fooled you.
Hammond: Jack, I know the Air Force has its rules, but I think you need to go after Major Carter. She's one fine piece of ass.
Daniel:Jack, shut the hell up and lets kick some ass. Jack: I'm sorry, but this culture is just so fascinating.
Hammond:Jack I'm the one in command, you'll do as I say! And there's no changing my mind.
Bra'tac - I am inrigued. Tell me, who is this MacGyver you speak of?
Jack - What would MacGuyver do... hell.. right now I wish I was MacGuyver.....
Bra'tac: I am still intrigued. Tell me, who is this MacGyver you speak of? Carter: Well, he was this 1980's do-gooder with a mullet. They say he could get out of any situation using simple scientific theories and contraptions. Personally, I thought we was pretty worthless back when I got stuck in an ice-cave with him.
It's Teal'c-feld: the observational humor of Seinfeld delivered by Teal'c in his usual, deadpan style:
"Have you ever observed that the food served aboard cargo ships is generally inedible?"
(crowd is silent)
"Is it not disturbing that old jaffa leave their turn signals activated longer than necessary?"
(again, no laughter from the crowd)
"The taxi drivers of your world appear to bathe infrequently, and thus produce unpleasant odors"
(Teal'c taps the microphone)
"Is this device functioning properly?"
(Finally, his Henny Youngman closer)
"Take my symbiote, please"
Jack on an internet chat line: MacGuyverSupaDude1: Where do you wanna meet? PattySelma2: How 'bout in our bedroom, sexkitten? Jack (to himself): SWEET!! Sex with twins!
O'Neill: General, sir, there are some people here to see you. Hammond: Send them in. (Mulder and Scully enter, guns drawn) Mulder: So you're the one in charge! I knew this conspiracy reached all the way to the highest positions of our government! (Teal'c enters) Teal'c:Is this not a good time, general? Mulder: Eeeeeeeeeek! (drops gun) (Colonel Summer, played by Robert Patrick, enters) Summer:Is this a bad time, general? Mulder: Hey don't I know you? Summer: Nah.
Thor:It is the Asgard Council's decision, that SGC....
*everyones waiting in suspense*
Thor:... be put under complete control of the NID.
Kinsey:YES!!
O'Neil:WHAT!!? *chokes Thor and kills him*
Jack: Thor, face it, admit it, you are a Muppet.
Thor: It's not what you think!
Jack: Guess what Thor? You and all your buddies have been accepted in the Muppet business!
Thor: *mutters* I must kill him for this....and kill Gonzo.
Jack: *at night in bed where he just woke up* Thor! Stop those anal probing on me!
#1 Martindan 21 år siden
Ting du aldrig vil høre blive sagt i Stargate SG-1:
Jack: Gotta love the Goa’uld! I’d be so bored without them.
Teal’c: Let’s get jiggy with it. *starts rap dancing*
Sam: So it’s the sincline of phi, times the inverse of-gah, I can’t do it, I can’t solve the equation, I HATE MATH!!!
Daniel: Old things are just so boring. I wanna study fashion!
Hammond: *over the intercom* Attention all base personnel, this is general Hammond. For the rest of the day, I am suspending the regs relating to fraternizing between officers. Enjoy yourselves.
Teal’c: I do not enjoy this Star Wars.
Janet: Who’s got a little boo-boo? You do, yes you do, you certainly do. A little boo-boo on your cute little tush-tush.
Apophis: Jaffa, I desire a change in decoration. *puts on a feather boa* Paint my chambers bright neon pink, bring in some exotic dancers, and order twenty barrels of Cronus’ best wine. It’s party time!
Daniel: Ah to Hell with it Jack, let’s just shoot ‘em and be done with it.
Jack: *gasps* I remember what happened to my memos!
Thor: Whoopee, we gets to blows up the Goa’uld, funfunfun, YAY!
Sam: Jack, I’m pregnant.
Jack: *screams in terror, then jumps out a window*
Jack: Checkmate.
Sam: What? No, no it can’t be true. AAAHHH! *throws herself out a window*
Jack: *to Hammond* Hey there Shiny!
Hammond: What’s up Jackass?
Teal’c: O’Neill, my eyebrows…I cannot raise them!
Martouf: Y’know, I never really liked you Sam.
Sam: Waaaaahhh.
Oma: *talking like Yoda* Looking for Ancients? Found Ancients I think you have, yes? Hmm, hrrmm?
Daniel: Screw the Tok’ra and our alien allies.
Jack: Okay, I’ll go find Anise, you can have Thor.
Sam: Y’know, I really need to get laid. *looks at Jack*
Jack: Sweet!
Hammond: *rubbing his head self-consciously, then putting on a wig* Much better.
Jack: Actually I think Steven Hawkings version of the inherent confluence of multiple-universes is fundamentally flawed by the fact that he doesn’t take into account the dissapation of heat through the principle of fundamental entrophy in dymanic temporal systems.
Sam: Make love to me you smart ass genius you.
Jack: Okay, okay, I admit it; I didn’t spend my early years in black ops…I was a Chippendales dancer.
Replicator: Oh, terribly sorry about that, good sir. Here let me help you up. I’m #38826b phi gamma epsilon AA23. How can me and my 339 trillion fellow beings help make your stay more comfortable with us today?
Anubis: Ah, my true passion in life: underwear modeling.
Jack: Screw saving the world, I wanna go bowling.
Jack: Damnit, I can’t hold it in anymore. I love you!
Sam: Oh Jack, I can’t tell you how much-
Jack: Not you, Daniel.
Daniel: AAAAHHH!!! *jumps out a window*
Jack: *about to get implanted with a Goa’uld* Yeah sure, pop the little sucker in. Eternal life sounds good to me.
Teal’c: It is called a tu-tu, O’Neill. I am told it accentuates my masculine character. Observe. *starts performing ballet*
Jack: Y’know what, why don’t we just sit down and have a nice long talk about this to help work out our differences, huh, what do you say?
Sam: Sir, it’s just an experiment on how naquadah will react when exposed to a blowtorch. What could go wrong?
Chevron guy: Receiving IDC, sir, it’s the Tok’ra. Should I open the iris?
Hammond: Nah leave it closed. We don’t want to talk to them.
Kinsey: Y’know what, I’m really sorry for being such an ass these past for years. How’s a 200% increase in your budget and totally autonomy of the Stargate program sound, O’Neill?
Janet: All right, time for your torture sess…I mean post-mission physical.
Jack: General, I’ve got some big news: Carter and I are getting hitched.
Hammond: Cool.
Narim: Okay, we’ve reconsidered and we’ll sell you the blueprints for an ion cannon in exchange for seasons 1-7 of Friends on DVD.
Goa’uld: Jaffa, kree!
Random jaffa #1: No, not until we get a dental plan!
Random jaffa #2: Damn straight!
Jack: I just don’t get the Simpsons.
Sam: So that concludes my briefing on the primary star of the system P4T-389 is in. Any questions?
Jack: *snoring loudly*
Daniel: *breaks a 10,000 year-old tablet over Jacks head* Oh, that was fun. Again!
Sam: *bouncing up and own like a little kid* Jack Jack Jack, can I go play with the Asgard and their cool stuff? Huh? Can I, can I, can I?
Jack: …Okay, as long as back here and you’re in bed by 7:00, Sammy.
Jack: The only reason I gave Anubis that eye was because you TOLD me to!
Daniel: Haha, fooled you.
Hammond: Jack, I know the Air Force has its rules, but I think you need to go after Major Carter. She's one fine piece of ass.
Daniel:Jack, shut the hell up and lets kick some ass.
Jack: I'm sorry, but this culture is just so fascinating.
Hammond:Jack I'm the one in command, you'll do as I say! And there's no changing my mind.
Bra'tac - I am inrigued. Tell me, who is this MacGyver you speak of?
Jack - What would MacGuyver do... hell.. right now I wish I was MacGuyver.....
Bra'tac: I am still intrigued. Tell me, who is this MacGyver you speak of?
Carter: Well, he was this 1980's do-gooder with a mullet. They say he could get out of any situation using simple scientific theories and contraptions. Personally, I thought we was pretty worthless back when I got stuck in an ice-cave with him.
It's Teal'c-feld: the observational humor of Seinfeld delivered by Teal'c in his usual, deadpan style:
"Have you ever observed that the food served aboard cargo ships is generally inedible?"
(crowd is silent)
"Is it not disturbing that old jaffa leave their turn signals activated longer than necessary?"
(again, no laughter from the crowd)
"The taxi drivers of your world appear to bathe infrequently, and thus produce unpleasant odors"
(Teal'c taps the microphone)
"Is this device functioning properly?"
(Finally, his Henny Youngman closer)
"Take my symbiote, please"
Jack on an internet chat line:
MacGuyverSupaDude1: Where do you wanna meet?
PattySelma2: How 'bout in our bedroom, sexkitten?
Jack (to himself): SWEET!! Sex with twins!
O'Neill: General, sir, there are some people here to see you.
Hammond: Send them in.
(Mulder and Scully enter, guns drawn)
Mulder: So you're the one in charge! I knew this conspiracy reached all the way to the highest positions of our government!
(Teal'c enters)
Teal'c:Is this not a good time, general?
Mulder: Eeeeeeeeeek! (drops gun)
(Colonel Summer, played by Robert Patrick, enters)
Summer:Is this a bad time, general?
Mulder: Hey don't I know you?
Summer: Nah.
Thor:It is the Asgard Council's decision, that SGC....
*everyones waiting in suspense*
Thor:... be put under complete control of the NID.
Kinsey:YES!!
O'Neil:WHAT!!? *chokes Thor and kills him*
Jack: Thor, face it, admit it, you are a Muppet.
Thor: It's not what you think!
Jack: Guess what Thor? You and all your buddies have been accepted in the Muppet business!
Thor: *mutters* I must kill him for this....and kill Gonzo.
Jack: *at night in bed where he just woke up* Thor! Stop those anal probing on me!
Daniel: Hi Jack.
Jack: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!